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| I change my mind. |
| 12.31.03 (1:39 pm) [edit] |
[image]Steelmagnolia_7343 89522.jpg[/image]
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| Everyone read this :D |
| 12.27.03 (8:08 am) [edit] |
Mom decided to participate in Tblog!
» [outside user] Mom 12.26.03 [7:58 am] (PST)
Cara-this has been a LONG TIME COMING. There is an old saying, that you shouldn't air your dirty laundry in public. I have been taking quite a beating on this site for months now, but this is rediculous.
Here you go Faithful Readers-and Cara-
You do dishes, like, 6 times a year, don't even have to keep your room clean, sleep in the guest room, get to do whatever you want socially-I mean who ever tells you NO? You get to participate in whatever crazy after school activities you come up with, every musical instrument you care to try playing we manage to get for you. You get to leave every summer and travel for a month with Grandparents who think you are one of the smartest people on the planet, by the way, so do your parents. Exactly in what way do you have it so rough? We take you to Buzzfest and other places we may not want to go to, year round. Did someone dare to tell you No or maybe give you some instructions about something? Or is this about me (Cara's awful mother) not wanting Bobby to be here all day while I am at work? Would any mother in her right mind want her 14 year old daughter's 19 year old boyfriend to be there all day while she was gone, no matter how much she likes him?
Cara is a wonderful person, but if you say anything to her that she doesn't like, everybody pays in spades. I am tired of my life being played out through Cara's blogs to a bunch of people I don't even know. Can this be good for anyone? I suggest you email each other privately, instead of this wretched forum. I can see where it would be nice in some ways, but to go around accusing people of stealing, and telling people how terrible your home life is, it's just doesn't make sense.
Maybe, if you hate it so much at home, you will end up being one of those happy teenage wives living in the lap of luxury with a house keeper and cleaning staff.
Yes, your parents make mistakes, daily. We made a mess out of everything, moving to Tennessee, and getting divorced. We are as imperfect as they come. But we also work every day in order to keep the bills paid, and keep you in wrestling shoes and musical instruments and softball gear, and concerts. We send you to all the camps we can, and get you out of state to see this beautiful country for weeks every year. You carry around more cash than I do. What's the deal? I mean, yes, you have to baby sit some, but just think how much you would have to if I had a social life? This is just you having to give back a little, and pitch in. Being a single mom sucks, but I just know it doesn't suck as much as being a child of divorced parents. This I understand. But beating up on people who love you in this public forum, it really hurts.
Thank you, and to all of the Members of the Academy-Bright Blessings to You for a Happy New Year!
"Don't confront me with my failures-I had not forgotten them"
-Jackson Browne, These Days
Great writing, Mom. Very entertaining. The Faithful Readers will certainly enjoy this. Keep it up. It's good to get things off your chest. Especially on wretched forums like these. Take it easy.
By the way, Bobby has never been to the house while you were at work. The last entry was my venting because you don't trust me. I don't know what you think Bobby & I do (actually I do) but you are wrong. I know you don't want me to end up pregnant, but like you said THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS A PREGNANT VIRGIN!!! And I don't know why you don't believe me when I say I'M ABSTAINING UNTIL MARRIAGE. If you think I'm so smart, why don't you believe that I am smart enough to keep my pants on?
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| My, how I love him |
| 12.22.03 (8:57 pm) [edit] |
You are David Blaine! You are very dry and have a
dour demeanor. You like to stay still in
bizarre places for extended periods of time,
for example, underground, on pillars, and in
blocks of ice.
Are you Craig David or David Blaine?
brought to you by Quizilla
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| Porn makes emotionless sex appealing, & that's the problem. |
| 12.22.03 (2:16 pm) [edit] |
I decided to bust out the black eyeshadow. Just for kicks & giggles.
One day I will have dredlocks. I know it will happen. I just have a feeling. And then when I'm tired of them, I I will probably shave my head. But right now I'm working on growing my hair out.
My girl, Liz Phair, was on Conan a couple days ago. I was afraid she was going to play her new song, but instead she sang "Winter Wonderland" It wasn't that great. I still lover her, though.
Favorite songs of the moment:
"Not a Pretty Girl" -Ani Difranco
"Moon" -Tuuli
"I Came as a Rat" -Modest Mouse
"Divorce Song" -Liz Phair
"We Build our own Prisons" -The Pinkerton Thugs
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| The Bracelet from Jesse |
| 12.20.03 (3:57 pm) [edit] |
At the first wrestling match, there was a girl's locker room, which was a room off of the bathroom. The lockers were all locked, so Beccah & I just left our bags out in the open, not wanting to lug them around. My purse was in the bag, but I took my wallet out & carried it with me.
We went into the bathrooms several times cause that's what girls do, & everything seemed kosher, not many people were going in there.
I didn't notice anything missing when I was getting dressed.
The next morning I was getting ready to go somewhere, & I discovered all the makeup I had in my purse was gone. I knew someone had taken it because I knew I had left it in there. That was annoying, but I was thankful that was all they took.
But it wasn't.
I had all my bracelets in there (around 40) & I was putting them on today since wrestling is over until after the break. I noticed one was missing. The bracelet Jesse gave me for my birthday.
That pisses me off.
Why couldn't she just go steal from a store? Gosh, take my make-up. That's fine. People grow accustomed to their make-up, but it can be replaced. But that bracelet was special. That girl will never know how much that bracelet meant to me when I got it. Or what putting it on after I decided not to wear it for so long symbolized.
I hope it brings her terrible luck everytime she wears it. I hope her Karma sucks for a long time.
May she live in interesting times.
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| It is my Needful Thing.... |
| 12.19.03 (4:52 pm) [edit] |
Okay, I gotta admit, I am a Jerry Springer fan. I find it entertaining, & one day I hope to be a guest on the show. That aside, I was watching it today, & three people I know where on the show!!! Do you know how shocking it is to see three people you know on Jerry Springer??? Oh man......
I'm going to my dad's for the weekend. I'm going shopping in Murfreesboro tomorrow. I was supposed to go last Saturday but couldn't because Dad, Jere, & me were sick. That's why everyone gets presents after Christmas break. I couldn't bring myself to give some people presents now & some after the break.
Anywayz, I'm sure you all will miss me. :?
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| A Lovely Start |
| 12.19.03 (5:57 am) [edit] |
Vacations are great because there isn't school. That's what I was thinking. Then I remembered how bad home is.
I was sick & tired of being bitched at incessantly when I was 5, & I still am. I would love to move out since nothing I do here is right anyway. Most parents would kick kittens to have a child like me ;)
I would do fine on my own if it wasn't for that little thing called Bills. No car = no job. But as soon as I can legally drive, it's jobtime for me.
I'm so angry. I'm still sick, too.
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| Broken plate |
| 12.18.03 (11:48 am) [edit] |
Music: "Venting (It's a Different World)" -Joey Ramone
I'm telling ya, Mr. Ramone sounds pretty damn awesome & rock after that Natural concert. I enjoyed the concert just because I like live music, but I hate when bands look rockin' & sound freakin' Backstreet.
But it's cool to look hardcore now. I guess the way you dress isn't linked to the music you listen to as much as it used to be. I'd like to invent my own "look" but that would require originality. I'd end up ripping stuff off of every other look. That's kinda what I do already. Call it "inspiration" if you like.
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| Spin the Bottle with Mrs. Hanson? |
| 12.17.03 (4:16 pm) [edit] |
Man, Dani & Jesse totally & fully rock. Yes....they do. So does Harry Alvis the Mighty.
Heh heh. I don't have much else to say.
I feel like I can do anything.
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| Found |
| 12.16.03 (3:42 pm) [edit] |
Today's wrestling practice consisted of running. I had two choices: run in the hallways with Mr. Pugh or run the outdoor classroom by myself. I chose the latter. Mr. Pugh said all the way to the end was about a mile, & I believed him, but I thought that the trail was one big loop with a couple offshoots here & there. I didn't know I was going to be jogging a freakin' labrynth. I ran & ran & ran (and walked a little) & ran some more. I was getting really close to Jesse's chicken houses. I wondered if he knew hoe big the outdoor classroom was. I kept turning here & turning there & turning onto less obvious paths. Each path I took was less evident than the last one. Then finally, as the bryers were face high & the weeds were so thick it felt like being tied at the ankles by rope made out of hair, I stopped & stated what had been manifest for a while. "This isn't even a fucking trail!" So what do you do when you've been traveling a non trail for a really long time? Do you turn & trace your steps? No, you make your own damn trail. Your destination not being to find a main trail, but when you do you get back on it just the same. For a little while anyway.
So I got back on a trail & ran for a little while, but then I got tired of that, so I decided to see if I could find a way to get onto Jesse's property. On my way to the fence, something caught my eye to the left. It was white, & the first thing I thought was [i]It's a skull! [/i] But I quickly dismissed the idea. I figured it was a piece of garbage. But as I got closer, I'll be damned if it wasn't a skull!!!! Some sort of canine skull, I think. It may not be exciting to you, but you just wait till your moseying around & you stumble upon a skull. So I picked it up, jogged around the trails some more, & jogged back to the school. There, I find Mr. Pugh on his ass in front of the computer.
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| The Look |
| 12.16.03 (3:22 pm) [edit] |
Today Beccah gave me a Christmas present, & included was this card that tests to see if the person you test with would make a good prom date. Silly, I know, but it was amusing.
Then I get the mail & receive a magazine I didn't subscribe to. It's probably from one of my "find free shit online" kicks. The mag is called "The Look" & it's nothing but prom dresses & prom tips. I've never been to a prom. Someone offered to take me earlier in the year, but I don't think he wants to take me anymore. Oh well.
I think I'm going to go look for free shit online.
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| Commercials |
| 12.15.03 (10:40 am) [edit] |
Wow, I saw commercials with music from Modest Mouse, The Cure, & Blind Melon almost back to back. Weird. I love the Hot Dog/Pepsi commercial.
Last night I dreamed about a lot of werid things. Including a hot dog. I was eating one, & someone said to me, "I thought you were a vegetarian!" And I was embarassed, & said, "I'm not going to swallow it. I'm just tasting." And I spit the chewed up meat into the garbage can.
I'm delighted that Celine Dion looks like a total idiot on her commercial. Does anyone else think so? I'm especially talking about the close-up where she's trying to look sexy/sensual/whatever. She looks dumb. I don't think the hair color is good for her. She looks better as a brunette. By the way, I HATE Celine Dion. :D
I'm still extremely pissed from last night. Sometimes you don't have someone's trust, & there's no reason for you not to have it. It makes my blood boil.
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| Hair |
| 12.14.03 (9:50 am) [edit] |
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Man, I'm having a blast. I just rid Bobby of a lot of hair! First, I plucked his eyebrows. Then, I trimmed his eyebrows with scissors. Then I took the scissors to his armpits!!! I did with my scissors what I thought I would need a bush hogger to do. Teehee, his underarms are almost empty! Then I touched up the heart on his chest & trimmed the hair up a bit. I love my Uncle Bobby.
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| soar throats & shaving cream |
| 12.14.03 (7:38 am) [edit] |
Bobby & I have been crashin Pop's house. Yesterday was Dad's birthday. He's so old. I did make over his blog cause is needed serious help. (It was suffering ugliness.) So now everyone go to raypike.tblog.com
Um, pancakes are ready. See ya!
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| Day Quill |
| 12.10.03 (4:55 am) [edit] |
I gave in. I took Day Quill. The first medicine I've taken in two years. I wish I didn't have to take it, but I can't even begin to explain how miserable I was last night. Everything hurts, & I'm hot & cold at the same time.
I wanted to go to school today to take Gateway, but Mom said I couldn't go if I had a fever. So I did what anyone would do if they wanted their temperature to be normal. I didn't put the themometer under my tongue. Even so, my temperature was over 100. So here I am, not at school. This is the last day I can miss without failing all my classes.
I'm not putting Sir Uncle Bobby: Phase 2 on Tblog. When Bobby showed the pic to some people he lives with, they laughed. I'm not good at drawing; my drawings are simple, where you just get the gist of what it's supposed to be. No shadow, no texture, no third dimension, etc. Blah, whatever.
I feel terrible.
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| Sir Uncle Bobby: Phase 1 |
| 12.09.03 (11:03 am) [edit] |
This isn't finished yet. I'll post it again when it is. Tell me what you think.
[image]Steelmagnolia_6557 59900.jpg[/image]
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| over 100 after a couple minutes |
| 12.09.03 (5:24 am) [edit] |
I thought I was getting better, but I got a little bit worse. I slept terribly last night. And everytime I did fall asleep, I woke myself up because I was talking so loudly. Well, maybe not talking so much as moaning & whimpering different words like "Ooooow" & "Booooobby" & "Mooove Oveeeeer!!! Alll the way oooovver!!! Scooooot!!!" & "I dooon't waaant sooooda!!!"
I was having dreams within dreams, & that was weird. Like where your asleep, & you dream that you wake up, but you're still sleeping....yeah.
Another day of non-school for me.
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| 101.8 101.4 99.4 |
| 12.08.03 (4:59 am) [edit] |
Sunday morning I woke up with the flu. It got worse as the day went on; I felt so horrible.
I don't know if any of you know this, but I do not take medicine. Not even Aspirin. The last time I took anything was two years ago. I was covered in poison oak & took Benedryll. That sucked, so I haven't taken medicine since.
They were trying to force me to take Aspirin & Ibuprofen & whatever else, & I refused. Now it's Monday morning, & I've almost kicked this.
I'm still not going to school, though.
Send me good vibes.
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| axiomatically? emaciated? |
| 12.07.03 (7:13 am) [edit] |
My subjects lately have been words my grandparents used that I didn't know what they meant.
Okay, so people want to hear about the wrestling match.
I hated the idea of wrestling after not being allowed to practice all week & not practicing during Thanksgiving break & only going to five practices in all. Two were just working out. So I know maybe two moves, but only in my head. I'm not good at doing them yet. I hated not being able to see the concert. I hated the spandex. I hated that only two team members were going, & Mr. Pugh was taking us so that makes zero percent knowing anything about wrestling.
The whole way there I was saying things like, "You know, the weather is really bad. We should probably go home. Actually, it's probably a better idea to take cover somewhere like....Hamilton Place Mall...until this blows over."
Beccah forgot shoes & her sports bra, so we had to go to the dollar store to get a shirt to wear under her singlet. And we had to share my shoes. Her feet are almost two sizes bigger than mine.
So we get there & there are HUNDREDS of wrestlers. We get a copy of the brackets, & there are HUNDREDS of matches. It took like five pages to list all the brackets with a very small font. So my first match would've been match #93, but I got what's called a "bye" That means I automacally go on to the next round as if I won the first round. The next match number I was waiting for was #184. I wrestled this tall skinny dude, & I actually scored some points. I honestly thing that if I had ever wrestled in a match before &/or if I had gotten that week of practice, I could've taken him. Our match went on for a while. The best part was at the very beginning. We were both standing up, & he went for my shoulders. Since he was so tall, I saw him bending over, so I reached down & grabbed his leg, knocked him off balance, & tried my best to get both shoulders down. It didn't work. HOWEVER he never pinned me. The match ended when the time limit was over & he had more points.
So even though I lost, I was to go on to the next round. I was looking for #218. But numbers went by, & #218 never ended. It turned out that the person left, so I won by default. That meant I was to go to the next round.
So I made it to the quarter finals. Match #397 was my next match. It looked like I had won two matches, & I'm pretty sure the guy I wrestled had really won at least that. He was also tall & skinny, but he was REALLY strong. I couldn't flip him over, so we spent a long time with me with one shoulder down & him trying his damnest to get the other one down. I did an okay job just not getting pinned, so he didn't get me right away. He smothered my face in his stomach. That sucked. Beccah said my face was purple.
It was really fun, though. Now since I know what I'm working towards, I'm looking forward to practices & matches.
I'm still sore as hell, though. I woke up at about 4 AM Saturday morning; I had fallen asleep with the light on. I realized that the left side of my chest hurt like hell. I wondered why, & then I remembered that that was the shoulder that was up in the second match. I was using all my strength to keep it up; the other guy was using all his to get it down.
It's still excruciating.
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| castrated, apprehensive......masculated? |
| 12.05.03 (9:46 pm) [edit] |
If you are reading this on my computer, you are logged in under MY screen name. So if you want to leave a comment, please go BACK to the homepage & push LOG OUT, which is in the top right corner. Otherwise, you will post under MY name & make me look really conceited & WEIRD. Thanks.
I survived my first wrestling match. I'm already tired of talking about it. I get like that. I'll talk about something so much that I get utterly sick of it. Sorry guys.
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| Another Shitty Poem |
| 12.03.03 (2:21 pm) [edit] |
I found a poem I wrote a while back....maybe sometime in the summer or when school started. It's not the worst thing I've written...
Bad posture
a taste for pain
dancing in the summer rain
I saw you just the other day & you were still afraid.
messy hair
scarred skin
All the places I have been
I just wanted to be your friend
But you turned away.
I saw you just the other day
I really had a lot to say
But I just turned away
Cause I am still afraid.
Some of it is about me, some is about someone else. I'd tell you who, but the person has a blog, & she/he might be embarassed or something, I dunno.
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| He's precious......(gag me) |
| 12.02.03 (5:25 pm) [edit] |
The demise of Dani's blog reminds me of [u]Dr. Moroe's Island[/u]...I don't know how to spell the name. Has anyone ever read that book or watched the movie?
Right now I'm reading [u]Needful Things[/u] by Stephen King. I really want to read [u]War of the Worlds[/u]. I wish I was around in 1938 when everyone freaked out. I wish my grandfather was old enough to have experienced that so he could tell me about it.
It's sleepy in here...
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